Today was the first day back to school here on campus at UT. I'll be the first to admit I am full of mixed emotions when it comes to back to school time. Two nights ago I could hardly sleep. I kept going over and over in my mind the list of things I needed to accomplish before other students would be here to start today. Maybe this is why - I LOVE SCHOOL! I know that's weird right? I have always loved school.
The night before every back to school day I would be so restless and could hardly sleep. I was excited to see friends, enjoy sports, learn all about my new classes and use new school supplies. However, one feeling trumped my excitement..... it was nervousness! I was extremely nervous that my teachers may not like me. That was my ultimate concern from about Kindergarten through my senior year of high school. I wanted every teacher to understand I was a good student, wanted to learn, was willing to try hard, and I wanted to be their favorite, best student.
Now in college these worries diminished a little. I found that most of my professors would like me (if they had the time to get to know me) if I did my work, spoke in class when needed and tried hard. I then realized even more that some professors just didn't "like" or "dislike" they simply wanted to teach and you to learn.
Now that I have the chance to teach some courses in college, I am still nervous! However, this time it's a little different. I am nervous because I feel that I have the opportunity to share about two of my favorite things that also happen to be two of the most important things in the World (besides God and love). I teach about leadership and I teach about agriculture. Some people who enter my classroom know something about both or maybe a lot about one - but few people know a tremendous amount about both. I wonder after every class if I have done an adequate job of sharing my passions with those in my classroom. The answer I always give myself is, no. I could never do enough. I feel that I could teach and work with students every single day and it would still never be enough to spread the importance of both of these things that I love and feel so passionate about. While I feel like I often do a good job teaching, I know it's never enough. I need my students to be inspired enough by my teaching that they want to share the message of leadership and agriculture too, maybe just one or maybe both. It's funny how satisfying it is to feel like I could never do enough. It seems like that would really discourage people but instead it motivates me to come to work and school every day, every semester and every year prepared to work harder, give more, make education more fun in order to make a greater impact. I hope that's exactly what this semester will be!!!
More to come on my classes, research and love of leadership and agriculture soon!
If you aren't feeling as inspired about getting the semester started maybe this link can help a little :-)